We have our closure to yet another chapter tonight. This time, the second IVF specialist, is the third specialist's opinion sought in 10 days ever since the light bleeding started on Dec 16. Total expenses in 10 days sum up to RM 788.00, not including the traveling expenses and 2 home kits.
All of which is about A SUSPECTED ECTOPIC BUT RAPIDLY FAILING PREGNANCY + the existence of five to six fibroids within and outside the uterine area.
Today, i have a reading of 345.67 mlU/ml hCG, which is about ten times lesser than a normal pregnancy should have, a 4.3ng/ml progesterone result, a almost-to-no-show urine test strip and 4th ultrasound that still caught a phantom embryonic sac.
I am to stop all medications (Duphaston + chinese progesterones) immediately and to wait for the natural-abortion to take its course at anytime.
It's fine now. Of course, Dino dad and i are, again, broken hearted and feeling drain-out. Well, it's not like it'd never happened before. It's the 17th-attempt!! And a 3rd miscarriage. Only this time, there are clinical proof.
We had a long 'consultation' (paid RM90 for 25-minutes) with the dr on fibroids and IVF option for my next attempt. The petite and gentle speaking dr, despite our little unpleasant start-off at being totally dumbfounded by our zealous questionings (i am pretty sure he hasn't a customer like us for a very long long time) managed to pulled together some comforting solutions.
In his opinion, which is the second specialist opinion in similarity by earlier dr, that my fibroids are small enough to rule out surgical removal which would an invasive procedure that can take up many months to recover. Though the fibroids are medically deemed to be a reliable factor in our continuous failing pregnancy, we still have a 'good' (yes, he did say good) natural-conceiving profile. He declared, conceiving is not the problem but holding-it is the challenge as witnessed in this current failing case and last month of which both pregnancy not viable pass 6th week. Worse still, he is worried that my 'little fella' could have implanted itself on an orchid (his frankenstein version of a joke on fibroid, excuse me, not funny).
Dino dad's sperm profile seemed 'good' to doc, which i didn't think it was. Now, i can rest my mind on him taking too much (lost count, in fact) painkillers for the stiff-neck-headache problem he has been having since 1998. But hey, there are too many of my friends who i know have been smoking like chimney, drink like hypo, heavy-labored at construction sites and some even have had drug abuse experiences managed to birth not only one, but two healthy children. Some less-to-do friends who don't even have a clue about the essential folic acid, folate, needless to mention spina-bifida, have had all their babies carried to full term with no complications and delivered at government hospital that charges only RM15.
Hey, my Dino hubby has less than ten teh-tarik glass of wine/beer or anything with alcohol in all his 38 years of life. Never smoked and is a healthy water buffalo. Same goes to me. Yet, we are having a world load of struggle just to have A BABY.
Its our karma, for intentionally aborting 'that one baby' we conceived in 1996 July, for a stupid and selfish reason of "career not stable with no savings". Millions of people were like us then and yet they raised three-four kids. Aiiiiii.............
I need to close this chapter. I need to give myself a rest of mind. I need a break after a good 3 weeks of torturous life-in-slow-motion.
But shutts!!! I almost forgot. Dr warned, i must be observant for any sudden fainting, sudden total numbness on the shoulders or acute one-side abdominal pain. It could be due to the ectopic pregnancy rupture if it does not abort naturally. Dino dad was warned to be ever ready to admit me to the nearest hospital if this should happen.
Now, that's no rest at all. And how dumb-ass i was to think that i should celebrate tonight because the bleeding has finally stopped throughout the day.
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