Baby nephew and his mom
Yesterday, Yahoo reported Beyonce showed off her baby bump.
Last week, Marion Canter announced she's five-month pregnant.
And one of my old time girlfriend will be birthing her first baby - a girl - in earth september.
How do i feel now? Sour, of course. Apparently, my chance of counseling with my psychology lecturer two weeks ago didn't do magic to my heart problem.
Good thing is, i have my little nephew to lift my mood. Baby nephew - i nicknamed him la bi xiao xin (crayon kid) - is now one-and-a-half years old and he has grown into a friendly little cuttie. Though at times, he can be quite a little clingy devil - being firstborn 3rd generation in my whole family and getting overloading shower of affection and pampering - his two-teeth smile soothes the ache in my heart each time he responses to his 'crazy aunt' play.
Little nephew was born on the same day i lost my 2nd set of IVF triplets. He became a significance to my infertility struggle - yes, seeing him always reminds me the pain the day i held tissues of miscarriage on a piece of toilet paper on my hand - but because he is a family, i get to love him as close as like my own while i take indulge in healing 'with time'. If he's a friend's, like in the current case of my soon-moher-be-girlfriend whose baby was conceived a week apart from my ectopic pregnancy, the significance would become averse. Like how i'm trying to dodge bumping into her during my evening run with my dogs, like how i react irrational when conversation with other friends linked to her, like how i am plotting how to just ignore calling to congratulate her after she dues in coming early september.
I know, i have become a pervert. Neurotic one at that, you might add - i don't mind.
But little nephew lives far down south. We only meet like two to three times a year. After this round, the next time i meet him he would be more aware of his surrounding and then maybe he would forget this 'crazy aunty' completely clean. Well, baby grows, and boy, they grows fast.
Hate to admit - but got to admit - i can be only cured of delirium the day i have my own baby dino either through birth or adoption.
