A story of true love

A great story circulated on the internet and i think its well written.

Story begins...
I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now.
What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did.
Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's __expression when he protected me.

That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province. That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.

I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books."

Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!"

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing."

I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.

That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.

One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!" Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?"

He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried.

That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home.

The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she told me with a smile,"

It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window."

I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face.

That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old. After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they wouldn't know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here."

My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled,

"Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You ar suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?"

With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!" "Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"

Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.

"When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village.

Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home.

One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers.

She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks.

From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her." Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.

*Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life.* You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

Have a nice day everyone! May this story inspire you in any way!

HCG Levels in pregnancy

hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) is a hormone produced by the placenta during pregnancy. Home pregnancy tests (HPTs) and Blood serum tests are designed to detect it. hCG is detectable in the blood of pregnant women by 8-10 days after ovulation and the majority by 12 days past ovulation. This is when the embryo burrows itself into the lining of the uterus. This is also know as implantation. HCG rises progressively from conception. Levels double on the average, every 31-48 hours as the embryo grows until values reach 6500 mIU/ml (6,500 IU/L) at approximately the eighth week after the last menstrual period (LMP). After that the rate of rise becomes individualized, peaking between the 60th and 70th day (9 to 10 weeks) LMP (Last Menstrual Period). HCG decreases slightly between the 12th and 16th week post LMP, and then remains constant until birth.

HCG levels in normal pregnancy

Days Past Ovulation
7 Days - 5-50 (avg. 14)
14 Days - 5-50 (avg. 21)
21 Days - 5-50 (avg. 42)
28 Days - 10-425
35 Days - 19-7,340
42 Days - 1,080-56,500
7-8 weeks - 7,650-229,000
9-12 weeks - 25,700-288,000
13-16 weeks - 13,300-254,000
17-24 weeks - 4,060-165,400
25-40 weeks - 3,640-117,000

Normal Twin Pregnancy

Day after LH/HCG
14 Days - 68-313
15 Days - 38-159
16 days - 146-803
17 Days - 154-542
18 Days - 360-1760
19 days - 499-2509
21 Days - 963-5859

IMPROVING THE UTERINE LINING

RESOURCE: For Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Blood flow to the endometrial lining measured as uterine artery resistance (pulsatility index or PI) and subendometrial flow is under hormonal control and has been shown to correlate with pregnancy outcome. If resistance of flow through the uterine artery is elevated or if flow of blood though the spiral arteries leading to the endometrium is low, successful pregnancy outcome is not expected. Decreased blood flow to the uterus has been shown to be increased and to result in increased successful pregnancy rate with treatment with both aspirin and sildenafil (Viagra).

Aspirin Therapy
Among women with increased resistance of blood flow through their uterine arteries who were treated with aspirin for a minimum of two weeks, the miscarriage rate decreased from 60% to 15%. An increase in subendometrial flow has also been noted with aspirin therapy. The usual dose of aspirin is 80mg a day (one baby aspirin). However, in an occasional woman as much as 360mg (one adult aspirin) has been required to see a beneficial effect on uterine blood flow. Do NOT go on this therapy without the advice of your physician.

Sildenafil (Viagra) Therapy
When aspirin is unsuccessful in improving uterine blood flow or if the miscarriages are associated with a thin (less than 9 mm) uterine lining, sildenfil (Viagra) has been used successfully to increase uterine blood flow. Viagra in the form of vaginal suppositories given in the dosage of 25 mg four times a day has been shown to increase uterine blood flow as well as thickness of the uterine lining. To date, we have seen significant improvement of the thickness of the uterine lining in about 70% of women treated. Successful pregnancy resulted in 42% of women who responded to the Viagra. It should be remembered that most of these women had previously experienced repeated IVF failures.

TTC Glossary

TTC GLOSSARY
2WW = 2-Week Wait, tww
AF = Aunt Flo (menstruation)
AH, AZH = Assisted Hatching
AHI = At-home Insemination
AI = Artificial Insemination
AIH = Artificial Insemination from Husband
AO = Anovulation
AOA, AVA = Anti-ovarian Antibody
ART = Assisted Reproductive Technology
AWOL = A Woman On Lupron
BA = Baby Aspirin
BBT = Basal Body Temperature
BCP = Birth Control Pills
BD = Baby Dance (sex)
BFN = Big Fat Negative
BFP = Big Fat Positive!
BIL = Brother in law
C# = Cycle Number
CB = Cycle Buddy
CD = Cycle Day
CF = Cervical Fluid
CM = Cervical Mucus
CP = Cervical Position
CNM = Certified Nurse Midwife
DH = Darling (Dear) Husband
DP = Darling Partner
DD = Darling daughter
DS = Darling Son
D&C = Dilation & Curettage
D&E = Dilation & Evacuation
DPO = Days Post-Ovulation
DPC = Days Since Last Clomid pill was taken
DPR = Days Post-Retrieval
DPT = Days Post-Transfer
Dx = Diagnosis
E2 = Estradiol
EB, EMB = Endometrial Biopsy
EDD = Estimated Due Date
ENDO = Endometriosis
EPO = Evening Primrose Oil
EPT = Early Pregnancy Test
ET = Embryo Transfer
EW, EWCM = Eggwhite Cervical Mucus
FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer
FHR = Fetal Heart Rate
FIL = Father in law
FP = Follicular Phase
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone
FTTA = Fertile Thoughts To All
FUR = False Unicorn Root
FV = Fertile Vibes
GIFT = Gamete Intra-fallopian Transfer
GnRH = Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone
GP = General Practitioner
hCG, HCG = Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
hMG, HMG = Human Menopausal Gonadotropin
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
HRT = Hormone Replacement Therapy
HSC = Hysteroscopy
HSG = Hysterosalpingogram
ICI = Intra-cervical Insemination
ICSI = Intra-cytoplasmic Sperm Injection
IF = Infertility
ITI = Intra-tubal Insemination
IUI = Intra-uterine Insemination
IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
LAP = Laparoscopy
LH = Luteinizing Hormone
LMP = Last Menstrual Period (start date)
LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off
LO = Love Olympics (sex)
LOL = Laugh Out Loud
LP = Luteal Phase
LPD = Luteal Phase Defect
LSP = Low Sperm Count
LUF, LUFS = Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome
MC, m/c, misc. = Miscarriage
MF = Male Factor
MIFT = Micro Injection Fallopian Transfer
MIL = Mother in law
O, OV = Ovulation
OB = Obstetrician
OB/GYN = Obstetrician/Gynecologist
OC = Oral Contraceptives
OD = Ovulatory Dysfunction
OPK Ovulation Predictor Kit
OPT = Ovulation Predictor Test
OTC = Over The Counter
PCO = Polycystic Ovaries
PCOD = Polycystic Ovary Disease
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
PCP = Primary Care Physician
PCT = Post Coital Test
PG = Pregnant
PID = Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
PMS = Pre-menstrual Syndrome
RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
R-FSH, R-hFSH = Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone
RI = Reproductive Immunologist
Rx = Prescription
SA = Semen Analysis
SHG, SonoHSG = Sonohysterogram
SIL = Sister in law
STD = Sexually Transmitted Disease
TR = Tubal Reversal
TTC = Trying to Conceive
Tx = Treatment
UR = Urologist
US, u/s = Ultrasound
UTI = Urinary Tract Infection
V = Vasectomy
VR = Vasectomy Reversal
WNL = Within Normal Limits
ZIFT = Zygote Intra-fallopian Transfer

Scientitfic Diagnosing Failed TTC

There have been many days and nights that i had silently made curses to... actually... myself!! Curse my previous lives karma that contributed to the many months failed TTC.

Becoming parents is not going to be easy for us, and we have to face that, and give in. The informations gathered below are my research on just the way the medical world thinks. Fertility specialists think that when a baby was lost, there'd probably never been a quick and easy testing that would tell us what went wrong, then we could do something simple that would totally prevent it from happening again. Sometimes, the only way to know there is a problem for sure is to lose another baby. I hate that, and am troubled by the practice, but the medical world goes by statistics, and here is why you may not be as aggressively tested as you would like following your first miscarriage:

After one miscarriage, your odds of another one are very small. Less than 20% of women who have miscarried will have repeated losses, so most doctors will assume that if you are healthy and had only one loss, particularly in the first trimester, that you will never have another one. This is pretty much true.

There are very few treatments to help you prevent a miscarriage. Most testing will not uncover a reason for a loss anyway, as early testing is just a shot in the dark. Even if testing showed a problem, there might not be anything more you can do than to assess the amount of risk you face for another one. The biggest bulk of miscarriages are caused by a random genetic error, which cannot be predicted or avoided. Because fetuses can JUST DIE! Don't play play.

Signing up for further tests, which often yields no conclusive answers, can be very expensive, especially done in Malaysia, time consuming, very stressful, and make you wait longer to try again sometimes can be as long as 6 months. Often by the time you do any of the more involved testing, such as endometrial biopsy, HSG, or laparoscopy, all of which require you to wait until a certain time in your cycle, of which unknowingly you could be pregnant again with a healthy baby. Let's hope no one is that bad luck ridden to have such coincidence.

Medical research also said that for would-be-parents who are over 35 and had one or two first trimester losses, they will be even less likely to get testing since the odds that the loss was a chromosomal problem with the egg are very high. There is nothing to do in this case but to keep trying for a better egg. Huh! easy to say. Some doctors, however, acknowledge that older moms might have undiagnosed health problems, and will test for the more common thyroid or lupus causes. True enough; i was diagnosed with hypothyroidsm on January 2008.

After three miscarriages in a row, it is best advised to stop trying on your own. Clearly, there's problem, and it must be found so to be treated. This, of course, if only true if the parent wannabes have never had a healthy baby. If there are born healthy children between the losses, the choice to test is becomes optional.

The Testing Process
A number of tests are easy to perform (blood test or vaginal culture only.) All but a few require that you not yet be pregnant again. If you are comfortable with your doctor and willing to fight for some testing, you can usually ask for and get the early testing ones done even after one loss:

Early Testing:
0 Progesterone monitoring by blood test (prior to pregnancy to check for luteal phase defect, and during early pregnancy to watch for deficiencies.)

0 Mycoplasma bacteria culture from cervix

0 Antinuclear and antiphospholipid antibodies in blood

0 Lupus Anticoagulant in blood

0 Underactive or overactive thyroid by blood

0 Exposure to German Measles, toxoplasmosis, Group B Streptococcus, or sexually transmitted diseases even if you tested negative prior to or early in pregnancy

More Extensive Testing
0 Progesterone Endometrial Biopsy (a bit of lining is scraped and checked)

0 Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) or "dye test" (dye is shot into the uterus and fallopian tubes and then x-rayed to look for malformations, fibroids, or blocked tubes)

0 Karyotyping of Baby or Pregnancy Tissue (tissue is grown in a dish to watch for cell division, which will reveal the chromosomal make up of the baby)

0 High Level Ultrasound of Reproductive Organs
Most Extensive Testing (some are limited to specialized centers and not available to regular OB/Gyns)

0 Laparoscopy or Hysteroscopy (minor surgical procedures where interior of reproduction organs are inspected with a lighted scope via a belly button incision (lap) or up through the dilated cervix)

0 Karyotyping Parents (blood cells are cultured and grown)

0 Genetic Counseling

0 Immune Factors

0 Antipaternal Leukocyte Antibodies

0 Antithyroid Antibodies

0 DQ Alpha & DQ Beta

0 Immunophenotype

0 Natural Killer Cell Assay

0 Tumor Nerosis Factor

0 Factor II (prothrombin) Mutation

0 Factor V Leiden Mutation

0 Methylene Tetrahydrofolate Reductase Mutation

Special Situation Testing
Parvovirus, or Fifth Disease (a recently active virus can be looked for if you work with small children, were exposed to the illness, or had symptoms. Most adults are already immune, but this test can see if you were not and perhaps were infected during pregnancy.)

Mercury blood levels (if exposure seemed high, usually through job function)

Pimples on face?

In Mian Xiang (Chinese Face Reading), different parts of the face correspond to the different ages of an individual, or different aspects of one’s life. When those particular areas are afflicted by acne or blemishes, it will affect your luck outcome in different ways. Here’s what it means to have blemishes on different parts of the face:
Blemishes on the Sky Horse Area of the face, also known as the Travelling Palace, indicate frustrations or problems related to travelling. So if you’re going on a trip and spots appear on this area - you might want to be a little more careful.

Acne on the Life Palace (the space between your eyebrows) indicates that the person will be in a bad mood and prone to arguments and fights.

Pimples in the area between the eyebrows and the eye, or the Property Palace, suggests the possibility of mishaps at home - or the likelihood of a troubled home atmosphere.

Blemishes on the nose bridge (also known as the Mountain Roots) suggest the possibility of arguments with your spouse.

The appearance of spots on the nose tip, or on the nose wings, indicates the future loss of money through excessive spending or through bad investments, speeding fines and summonses, and the like.

Blemishes at the corners of the mouth suggest that you’re likely to be argumentative and get into disagreements and quarrels.

Pimples at the Hired Help Palace indicate that you’re likely to have problems with your staff, or your hired help (i.e. maids) at home.

The Nobleman 'Guai Yan'

Joey Yap says:
The "Nobleman" or "Guai Yan" is a concept familiar to most Chinese. So it is not too surprising that the studies of BaZi and Feng Shui should pay special attention to this special "Star."

The "Nobleman" refers to people who are able to help you in times of need. Normally, such persons themselves are of higher social status (which makes it easier for them to rescue others), and these people are discreet about their benevolent act.

"Nobleman Luck" - the affinity of receiving aid from helpful persons - is reflected in one’s BaZi chart. Typically, the specific star has to be present in the original chart itself. Not only that, this star has to be a "favourable" element for the chart before it is considered as being truly helpful.

Otherwise, the presence of such a Nobleman star could mean disturbances from well-meaning individuals, but at inappropriate times. The Nobleman star can also appear in the Luck Pillars (10 year blocks) or even in certain years. Of course, the effects here would be temporary.

In Feng Shui, the Nobleman star is represented by the #1 White Star in the Flying Stars system. If you are familiar with the Eight Mansions system, the ‘Tian Yi’ (Heavenly Doctor) has similar supportive powers. Employing the help of these stars require discretion.

If you need someone to give you a little boost in your career, for example, find out the sector where the #1 White Star is and be there to receive it. Or sleep in a ‘Tian Yi’ direction, if you are looking for an effective doctor to aid you in times of ill health. But of course, remember your BaZi chart to begin with. If the Nobleman Star was already present in your Destiny chart, then you should be able to meet this helpful person indefinitely.

A Helping Hand
Many people worry, upon looking at their own BaZi charts, that they will not receive help in life due to the absence of such a star. Having a helping hand when needed most can make a difference in someone’s life or career. But bear in mind that the Nobleman star is only one of the various interesting aspects in BaZi (or Feng Shui).

Many make it big with their own two hands. Other stars, like the "Sky Horse" star, means that a person can be very successful when travelling or working abroad. The "Peach Blossom" star bestows an aura of likeability that is sure to make a difference if you are in sales, PR, or show business. These are just the few common ones.

It is not pre-requisite that these stars be present for any BaZi chart to be of good quality. Remember that the purpose of the BaZi is to identify what actions should be taken at certain points of time. This would naturally bring out the best possible outcome in our endeavours in life.

"If I do not have a Nobleman in my BaZi, can I still use Feng Shui to look for one?" Yes, you can.

For better results you should seek out the #1 White Star during years or months when the Nobleman "visits" your BaZi chart. But here is another suggestion: instead of worrying whether or not we will meet someone helpful, why not do something we know we are good at? That way, chances of a positive outcome become higher.

Who knows, when all our efforts are fully in-sync with our Destiny, we might not even need an extra hand.

I am Gemini

The meaning of sign GEMINI
Let me check if this article by an astrologer holds water.

# Third sign of the zodiac
# Your element : air light-headed and freely?
# Your ruling planet : Mercury
# The corresponding tarot card to your sign : the lover
# Your lucky color : Gray one of my favorite color
# Your gemstone : Aquamarine don't know which

Your sign is the only double sign in the zodiac and because of that, it is fascinating.

This double aspect is both a source of benefit and of conflict. Yes, you can both like and hate at the same time, be both excited and bored. In short, you are full of contradictions. These create numerous tensions and are the source of many conflicts with your surroundings. This is so true. I can give love to anybody just as easily i can pick up hate on some one. When i decided to accept a person into my life, this person will absolutely enjoy my loyalty, devotion and forgiving unrequested. On the other hand, i have the capability to nurture an anger into hate on some one who are rude-beyond-boundary or idiotic-ignorant-selfish-graduate.

Your personality is thus subject to assault by many sensations, sometimes leading to delicate situations, especially in the area of feelings, (which are difficult for you to handle). How many times have you not been driven past enthusiasm to exhaustion, from an exaggerated life-style to the temptation to leave everything behind? Many. Your air element makes life difficult for you. You have a tendency to create complications because you have needs beyond those which others can satisfy. And you are not content with half-measures, or mediocrities. I admit and guilty at first degree. The hiring and firing over the past several years had weathered me out. Made me a monster. Having to cannon all my best to serve and fit into the elite groups and corporate clientele which many a times didn't receive the justifiable returns and propel thoughts of "giving up" to lead a simpler one-dish-one-soup life.

You have a vivid imagination which you want to make into reality, sometimes even though this is not possible. In this sense you are often disappointed by life, disappointed by others. In the domain of action, you either want to let go completely, or, you want to do one thousand things at a the same time. You start projects that you don't finish or that are impracticable. Yes, yes and very yes. Been there. Done that. Numerous childhood and teenager aspirations went unfulfilled, thrashed by the wake of reality ugliness. Life gotten worse from the day i put my vote into the ballot box. Blame the politics. And blame it all on human greed.

Yet, with your planet in Mercury, you inherited charm and the capacity for action. (But also for often wasted chances). Your relations with others are often difficult, leading to few long term relationships! Yet you have great potential and qualities that you may waste uselessly. Probably is due to my no-nonsense character, example; no patience for friends who don't help themselves despite repeated advice from me, no patience for neighbors who hang huge MsC or PhD or McD on their walls but never pick up the litter their kids deposited at my porch; definitely no forgiving for those schools of rakyat who think dogs are s*** but fail to realise that these lovely four legged creatures are creations by their beloved one and only creator (mind you, my beloved one and only doesn't know how to create anything).

Your main fault is a lack of constancy and combativeness. Sometimes when your difficulties are real, you can get yourself easily out of it when you decide to take things in hand and not change your view. You usually come through these situations well even though you have to fight against yourself. Well, i am actually quite proud of this trait. Got to salute it for it helped me sailed throw storms and resilient to victory at the end. Never regretted having this though some people think i'm too pig-headed...guok guok....