It is ECTOPIC

It's official.

2nd opinion by a consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician in Sunway Hospital re-confirmed i had an ectopic pregnancy on 18 Feb 2011. Ultrasound showed - this time clearer than the last scan - my lower left fallopian tube swollen and there was blood forming in the affected area. It was not in my pelvis because i felt no pain when Dr. performed pelvic examination.

Dr. said: Very bad news; the baby is growing robustly BUT in the wrong place. While your fetal is struggling to survive, your tube is fast rupturing. You must be operated immediately before full-blown rupture hits.

Me and Dino dad: That bad meh? Can't wait a few more days or two? Maybe our baby might decide to roll away from my tube and swim to my womb leh? This pregnancy is our first pregnancy that survived past 7 weeks - and is still growing strong.

Dr: The chance is one in 40,000, if that happens. If not, then you are subjecting yourself to a high-risk situation where ectopic at worst case, is life-threatening. Currently, there is no technology that can save a pregnancy that has implanted outside of a womb.

Dr. wouldn't release me home and repeatedly warned of the dangerous complications if rupture happened. I wanted to wait but Dino dad was firmed to choose the lesser evil of two evils: to save me first. He signed the consent form and Dr. issued an emergency surgery that afternoon itself.

Normally, the fertilized egg is carried to the uterus to be implanted and grow. In my case, the egg was beginning to implant in my left fallopian tube, an area of the uterus that cannot sustain life, where pregnancy can't go on because the growing embryo and placental tissue can destroy the structures outside the uterus. If left to later stage, i could either loose a tube (beyond repair, and reduce 50% chance to conceive) or die from severe hemorrhage when the tube rupture. Only on rare cases that the mother to miscarry naturally without rupture, hemorrhage or death. But i know; i would never be that lucky one.

I learned that ectopic pregnancies are fairly common, like 1 in 1oo pregnancies. Talking about odds, how unlucky can i be?

In the OT, even the nice Dr. Anesthetist shared my pain when he saw the reason i was all prep lying and waiting in doom. Probably he saw my pain through my red eyes and nose; I had been repeatedly saying goodbye to my baby the minute i was pushed out of my ward heading to the OT. I told the my baby to forgive me. I'd have to end its life by force. I did not cried out but i was suffocating inside, trying to be strong - don't know for what? While waiting for my turn to be put out, i imagined my baby playing in Buddha's embrace and i'd pleaded to Buddha to bring this baby to pure land. This baby is innocent; i am the one going to abort this little life no matter how badly i wanted to keep it.

After waiting liked forever in the ward and in the OT, at 8pm same day i was finally pushed out, semi-conscious, plus suffering a hypertemia-like episode, and a bad sore throat (caused by anesthesiologist O2 tube thrust into my trachea).

At that moment, the realization of being back to 'not-pregnant' was drastically real.

The laporoscopic surgery left me with three incision wounds in my lower abdomen - the 3rd one was directly inside my belly button - and a tube attached out from my womb area, draining blood out of my uterus for the next two days. Plus the ever-present intravenous drip on my left hand.

Bloodwork confirmed i was starting to minor hermorrhage; my hemoglobin counts dropped to less 7.3 vg/dl whereby a healthy woman should be between 11.5 - 15.5. Immediately i was put on blood transfusion.

Next week have to do another bloodwork to see if my body has rid off all the unwanted pregnancy cells as it should be.