As prescribed, i faithfully took my first course of intensive treatment just now while my heart was praying fervently "please, please, please let this month be the month...please...."
Everyone around me ceaselessly reminding to take it easy. My silent responses were and has always been consistently be: How? I want to, but can you, if you were in my shoe? Excuse me, am i the one trying to get pregnant or you? Says who?
Two days back, one of my client had even called to break the good news that she had held back since last month, as if we were in phantom competition to conceive. Her urine test showed positive and she is ecstatic, naturally. Who wouldn't? I would - for sure to bet MYR100k on my rapturous expression on the day my urine test shows a '+'. You'd sure win. But i am grievously ashamed of a fleeting glee in my heart when she said she is still experiencing spotting. After i hung up the phone, i quickly repent and asked for Buddha to willed me power to cleanse my bad mind before i go nutty
Sigh.... has TTC made me a cruel person? I'm afraid the answer is beginning to be obvious. Gosh! how can i? I must be happy for others, yet, i can't find the strength to be truly happy for them.
Let's just hope this treatment can speed up its potency
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