Cycle 15, Day 27 - Spotting

I am in a deja-vu - same time every month - getting real tense up once spotting is sighted. Its been 2 days, spotting but not staining. There are so many recalls flashing at the back of my minds every time i visited the toilet to wipe-out the pinks. Keep telling myself its the implantation process. Keep telling myself refrain from running, jogging and everything physical activities that could impact the possible-implantation process. Luckily, i am blessed with a never-complain-Dino dad fulfilling those insatiable energy expressed-without-reserve at every evening when its time for the furkids to go out. I move around like an apatosaurus (here's the picture, in case you haven't seen one).

"The egg is still beautiful." This phrase is practically helping me to balance out my tension since the first spotting was detected. On Sept 27, Sinseh smiled and told that my 'egg' is still 'around' after 2-4 minutes feeling on the pulses concentrating on the left side of my right palm. She added, "Otherwise, the 'egg' might have 'exploded' by now". She understood her meaning. She meant 'dissolved'. However, she did not give me the assurance that i am gonna make it this cycle. Instead, she bent over her desk to pick up a 4R size album and started flipping through pages and pages of newborns, showcasing her passed and recent success records and encouraging me not to beat myself up mentally. Well, those babies were cute. But i was too occupied with my own anxiety to the extend i cannot bring myself to appreciate others. The 'chocolate' pills was prescribed again. So was Dino dad's. We went home hopeful that day but was crushed when spotting started 2 days later.

At this point, all breast tenderness gone. Been feeling bloated the past few days. My stomach is sending out wrong impression to others who might see me as 5 months pregnant. Gassy. Belching. Lack of appetite. Lazy. Thank goodness, its Raya break till Monday.