2011, Jan 7 - Living hell

The spotting was supposed to stop; after the jab and 2 dosages of Progynova, isn't it? Counting back to the first day of my last period - Jan 4 - i should be on day 35th, that's exactly end of 5th week.

But i still bleeds, bit by bit, all dark brown, not enough for a pad but quite taxing on a panty liner. I have been resting the whole day, sitting in front of TV from 2pm to 1am. What more to do?????

I have mild period-like cramp felt at dawn this morning, and my breast tenderness was almost gone. I knew the signs too well - an impending miscarriage. I knew it. I had it times before. But still i needed to get up to pee. Fresh red blood colored my urine. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, it confirmed my presumptions.

I felt the dream slipping through my arms, and rage renewed.

All right, life is very cruel and that's my shitty destiny - to be teased, poked fun with happiness one day and then only to be doused with fire the next. Didn't care, put on heels (against Doc's order), went to client's office to collect a due cheque, went lunch, waited for hubby sinseh treatment and then back.

A check on the pad, an hour ago did not see flushing. Same old, same old with the dark brown spotting.

I am going into a freaking mode already. Gosh! its so hard!!!!